Computer question

#@*#& right mouse button (optical) isn’t working. Computer says its fine, WTF ??
I did the unplug then plug back in and also restart, still nothing. Went though all the settings, no mention of the right button except to make it primary.
I’m seriously considering a sledgehammer

Probably a hardware issue with the mouse. You can verify connecting it to another computer. If it behaves the same confirms the mouse is bad.

Or, just behaving badly. Mice have come a long way since the days of dirty mouse balls and rollers, but they still accumulate crud. Nine out of ten times a mouse can be fixed by a full tune up. Complete disassembly and careful cleaning.

External mouse? Just get another one - they’re replaceable “wear” items now.

Spend $30 and get one of these - I think mine has been running for over a year on a single AA battery, it can be used with multiple machines, been thrown in bags and traveled around, no issues:

Went into my bits and pieces cabinet and I had two mice put away.
The first one, a very fancy “deluxe” optical mouse with 4 buttons and two wheels, didn’t work either, the left button didn’t work. Thank goodness it wasn’t the right button, like the other mouse, or I would have have tossed the entire computer out the window.
An ancient, crappy, beat to S### Microsoft mouse is working well - I’m back in business